You work out of a Hotel?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
