he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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