3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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