You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have fence marks all over my body
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
