Do vagina's smell?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
