ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
