I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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