dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
