I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
