i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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