You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
