Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
