Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
