omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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