sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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