So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
