big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There are leaves in my underwear?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize