wanna go halves on a baby?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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