is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
