Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
