im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
