Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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