Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
