We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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