do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
sarcasm needs its own font
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
