What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
