What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
