i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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