I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
