yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
