What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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