the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
