ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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