you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
