It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Randomize
