ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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