i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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