just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
