Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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