You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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