that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
