I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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