I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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