Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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