i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
