Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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