Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
