with your own penis?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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