I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
