It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
