I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I need to calm my uterus...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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